Every so-called expert that talks about this says you should practice. And when I look at other 'skills', indeed you need to practice. It is sound advice.

But like you, I can't imagine going on a date with some girl just to practice dating skills for when that one women that you really want shows up.
I have a flair of schizoidism for sure and it takes me a long time to warm up to strangers.

It also feels like a betrayal to yourself, when you aren't gregarious and you feel forced to go out there and become more gregarious. Why does society reward gregariousness so much? Is it fair? No. Then why accept it?

It is hard when you are stubborn and sensitive.

To the OP, I don't know if your analysis of society and the game of dating is correct. Doesn't sound right to me.
Males just wait for girls to show interest and then you pick one? Are you sure?


Women are creeped out by men who are strangers. It was difficult for me to understand, and more importantly, feel, that women can and must be cautious around stranger men.

If you meet a new person, you need to talk about light subjects first. You don't immediately discuss politics, their life goals, the meaning of life, or whatever. Small talk is about not being strangers.
I used to hate small talk as well. But it is only natural and understandable you talk about small, simple, lighthearted things first. Then about meaningful things second. You can't meet someone for the first time, then rant about your hobby for 15 minutes. Or ask them if they want children or not and about how they view parenthood.

In the end, look at animals. Look at how a male bird attracts and seduces a female bird. Humans are animals. It is hard to accept and embrace that idea, especially if you are logical/rational. Deep inside us, maybe hidden under a lot of restraint, there is the instinct of the human mating ritual. That's what biology gave us to attract mates.
It is hard. Hard to use and hard to accept. First step is to stop denying. Took me 10 years only to stop denying it.