I told my friend last night online. I was the hardest thing I've done. We were talking about eating issues and then I just told him that I had a bad sexual experience. He wanted me to tell him about it. So I just e-mailed him my post on here because I didn't want to write it again and have to feel it again. When I think about what happend I can just read it like it's someone else and I don't have to feel it. He said that when I covered by crotch that meant no, but I don't know how I feel about that. None of my behavior indicated no. I can't blame him.