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his was the time in which he disclosed that he felt hurt. I don't know that they get insulted in regards to the things we are talking about, but they get hurt, they get mad, they feel things like we do.

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Wow. I have just come from therapy and experienced this for the first time. It has been a difficult time for T and me. We had a rupture before he left for vacation, then a quick phone repair before he left. Then you know how the phone session went when he came back. Today I told him about something he said that felt like criticism to me when I saw him on Tuesday and that when this happens I wind up feeling like I'm doing something wrong. He said that he did not want to feel bad again about traumatizing me and he was not going to go down that road. I was able to talk through this and it was simply amazing, I think....I think the amazing part was in my ability to look him in the eye and say "you." But there is a part of me who is worried about the relationship, even though I'm doing some intensive work right now & seeing him 2x a week. Have i been doing a "hurt you before you hurt me thing?" Hmmmmm