Quote:
Originally Posted by Talthybius
Ignoring details and personal feelings, if you are in a relation that is bad for you, you need to be able to walk away from it.
And if he is unwilling to communicate, you can tell him straight up that you aren't interested in spending your life with someone who cannot communicate. You only have one life.
If you are not willing to walk away when it is necessary, you have no leverage and no influence on the nature of the relationship.
Imo, you should tell your partner at the first moment you are dissatisfied that you are so she/he can change/adjust.
Some people stay in dissatisfied relationships. Others leave a dissatisfied relationships before helping their partner to do the right thing to improve the relationship.
That this has gone on for 20 years is bad. Either he knows and doesn't care. Or you never told him and he will have trouble understanding why suddenly his previously ok behavior is no longer ok. Difficult.
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I wish that I could just get up and walk away sometimes, but I have nowhere to go. He has changed for the better when it comes to some things. I really had to put my foot down many times before he finally stopped trying to get me to be someone and something I'm not.
For example, I'm introverted, and he always tried to force me to socialize with his friends and family way to much. And the worst part is that none of them really liked me that much to begin with since they're a cliquey bunch.
Anyways, I keep on trying to get him to understand things from my p.o.v, but like you said, he either doesn't care or understand much of what I'm trying to tell him.
He's always been a quiet person who doesn't like to talk about his feelings or much of anything that doesn't interest him. He loves to talk about politics and guy stuff, but not much else. This is who he is, and I'll have to deal with it as I do still care about him enough to stay with him as he has some good qualities to him.
For one, he is reliable most of the time, he can fix things, he doesn't do drugs and he hardly drinks, he has his own business, he doesn't have a criminal record, he's in good health, etc...
All I can say is that relationships are hard and frustrating to deal with at times.