You weren't lame at all, that's just the low self-esteem talking. I'm sorry you're struggling with these feelings right now.

From your post I read you're a working mother, bringing up your girls, working a job with workmates you don't care for but you stick it out to earn a living for your girls sakes - IMO that's something to admire. Seriously.

In terms of the ex, that's a decision only you can come to, but please don't allow someone to treat you in ways that will contribute to you feeling bad about yourself.

Hope you can be kind to yourself, treat yourself to something - it doesn't have to be fancy, just something that makes you feel happier, a walk in a place that brings you peace, time doing something fun with your girls. You're worth it.

Take care