I am not insensitive to your feelings, but let me share a different perspective. I'm the husband.

Let me begin by saying that I love my wife with my whole being, and nothing I am about to say takes away from that. She is not perfect but she is perfect for me.

Financially, she is about as responsible as a fifteen year old girl with ADD. If she knows we have $500, she'll buy a $1000 horse we can't feed and finance the rest....oh, and a bunny...and a goat...and they'll need tack and supplements and clothes! So even though we are in serious trouble financially at the moment (I became disabled three years ago and am still awaiting disability) and at one point got to the point of tearing up old clothes for toilet paper - I've taken steps to insure that she's taken care of financially for the rest of her life - even if I die tomorrow.

She doesn't know that and I'm not going to tell her. Because she'd be happy for about a day and a half and then start realizing all the things she could have. Right. Now.

And believe it or not, it pains me to see her do without something that she wants. I hate saying 'no' especially since it's 'our' money. But she can't budget, can't earn enough to take care of herself if she could, and I worry enough about her to make sure she'll always be okay even if she suddenly becomes able to.

A good case in point: When my disability comes in, we have the opportunity to move a couple hundred miles away and bring in $8000/month or stay here and live on $700/month for the rest of our lives in the back of a travel trailer. Guess which one she chooses? So I've suggested moving for six months to a year, saving the extra money and coming back. It's too long; how about a month?

Maybe your situation is different. My real reason for posting was because many people seem to have made the same assumption about your husband that people could make about me. We're not all nefarious control freaks.