My God. You describe exactly how I have been the last couple months. Every time I make a step forward, I take 10 back. I've been DX'd with BP, OCD, and Panic disorder, and not officially BPD, but judging by recent events (and past ones) it has to be there. I'm so impulsive, and so destructive. I'm on the brink of ruining everything. My therapist wants me to attend DBT, but I"m agraid it won't be enough, or start soon enough.