I'm very sexual when hypo and manic.
Like very.

I just got out of a relationship that ended really badly but I really cared (I think maybe loved) the guy so much that I had anxiety about getting manic and cheating on him.

One day I ran to the bathroom and met up with a guy and fooled around and I felt at the time I didn't care. I was actually thinking of him when I was with the guy. Later that day I felt really bad and cried my self to sleep wanting to die.

Ironically the first movie we watched together was "I Smile Back". It was a movie about a bipolar women (played by Sarah Silverman) who sleeps around when manic. My bf though that I would act like that and I told my self that I never would and I ended up doing it.

It was only one time but it made me very weary and now as much as I want to be in a relationship I know that I can't because of my bipolar. I feel like no matter what, I'll end up hurting someone I fall in love with.



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