Ok, another update. I contacted my pastor tonight by email and told him to STOP telling other people about D and I, because it makes me uncomfortable, and he agreed to stop. I then asked him about D, and what is going on, and then my pastor called me on the phone. He said that D is really nervous about this (and that is why D has not contacted me) and also that D "doesn't know what to think". (Which REALLY worries me--what does that mean? Now I have to ask the pastor about that).

Then pastor asked me if D contacted me yet, and I said no, and my pastor said I could send D a message on facebook, saying I am going to conference and will talk to him there. I don't know if I should do that or whether it will help the situation. I don't want to leave it as it is right now, because I don't want D to be nervous and I want D to know that I don't mean any harm (and I am not chasing him) and just am interested in talking to him and being a friend.

I am REALLY upset with my pastor about this. He started this whole thing, and he said he was going to have dinner with me and D at the conference. Now it is like he is backing out of this. I like everything I have seen about D so far, from the sermons I have listened to, and short video, and everything he writes. I don't want to give up on this, but I don't want to push it, either.

I am going to talk to my counselor and see what she thinks I should do next. I don't want to leave it up in the air, like this, for the next month, because the whole situation seems unclear. I never wanted D to feel pressured and now I feel upset because I feel the pastor handled this the wrong way.