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confused4ever said:
I know he is there to catch me, but feeling that being the one to make the decisions and control the healing from this point on is scary!!!!!!!!

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One of the most important things my T ever said to me was in one of our first few sessions. He told me that only I knew what I needed to heal. that was very empowering to me, and seemed immediately to me to be true. For how could he know? And I resolved to try to really listen to myself, all parts--unconscious and conscious--and try to discern what it was I needed to heal. If I got a clue, then I followed it, bringing T along with me. I chose my own path to healing because I am the only one who knows where I need to go. You can do it!! Just listen to your heart and your soul, and do what needs to be done. Your T is there for support and advice. Ask for his help often. Good luck!