I know I'm pretty weak as far as people go, but...

*sighs* I just got into a discussion with my current boyfriend... he... well, I admitted something about my sexuality to him and was pretty hurt when he made a joke, so I clammed up for several minutes... I feel like a bloody idiot and, I don't know why its that easy to make me have suicidal thoughts... I wont, its just... that easy too. I can control it, but its scary, and now I'm sitting here, feeling like a perfect idiot, because the thoughts are unspoken but now... I feel so stupid... for admitting that and now it feels like I'm making his situation more Hell with every move I make, every move more in the wrong...

Help, please....?