I am supposed to go tonight for the next session in my step study for my support group, but I just don't think i can do it. The questions we are going to be discussing tonight involve our childhood issues. i don't want to open that door. I'm 50 years old, what's the point? I know that there was pain in my childhood,but i've closed that door tightly and i don't want to reopen it. Yes, my parents were neglectful, inattentive, and sometimes abusive verbally and physically. I often felt unwanted and unloved. I know that they didn't plan to have me and i was aware of that so often as a child. They assure me now constantly that they love me, but is it really because of who i am ( their only daughter) or the fact that i shop with them weekly and am available whenever they have a crisis....all i feel as i open that door is the old pain, fear, guilt for having been born, and shame( knowing that i'm not enough for them) Is it really necessary to tear open scarred wounds for healing to take place? Is there even a point to all of this soul searching?