I'm still perseverating on the t relationship thing so i beg your continued indulgence. How i felt on saturday sitting there while t read my poem was like a little girl who just showed her mommy a finger painting she felt proud of making. (I've been told when i was little i didn't do that.) i recognize of course the projection and it made me want to bolt out of there in fact i dang near knocked her down trying to get past her chair til she pointed out that i seemed to be in a hurry and i made up something about not wanting to go over time. In our brief email exchange yest she offered to meet in a week instead of the 2 weeks we scheduled but i declined for financial reasons which was not a lie, its partly that, but it's also partly at talking about it all. Resistance with a capital R. We're touching that young, scared little me again. And she wants to stay safely hidden away instead. But the cat's outta the bag now. Incidentally i scoured my house saturday to find my little stuffed animal dog my grandma gave me when i was 2. I'm sleeping with it again. I felt about 2 the other day w t. I don't wanna feel 2. Sorry for blathering on.

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