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Nike007 · Apr 18, 2016, 04:24 PM

This is a trigger post, so you are warned here.

So I went on a trip to Europe recently and just got back. But while there, I had a really, really bad obsessive thought. It was this:

Possible trigger:

So I was at the Colosseum with my class. And then suddenly, and group of people with guns walked up to us and said freeze and don't move. No one moved. My group was used as hostages to get what they want from the Canadian government. They told the police that arrived to the scene a few minutes later that they have to give them a few million dollars or else they'd start executing people. They also said they had a hour to reply. The first person they pointed to was my music teacher, whom I rightly or wrongly so care deeply for (like a friend/motherly way). And I was so scared. An hour went by and nothing happened, so they, instead of shooting my teacher in the head shot her in the stomach. I can't forget this scene. My mind played this scene in slow motion. The bullet hit her stomach and a small amount of blood flew. I watched as my teacher collapsed to the ground. Everyone was scared to be the next target, but I was scared that my music teacher would die. So I ran over to her and tried to stop the wound. Blood covered her shirt and was pouring on to the ground. I looked into her eyes and saw her suffering. I was crying and I saw as her soul left her body and she lost muscle feeling. I was holding on to one of her hands. I was crying so hard. Suddenly, more bullets flew and killed all the kidnappers, but my teacher was dead. I was just crying and laying on beside her. I didn't leave her side. I was soaked in blood, but I didn't care. No one else did anything. She was already dead.

It was the worst thought of my life. It made me cry and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I thought it was going to be true. I told my teacher because it was about her. I told her it was part of my OCD, but I forgot to tell her not to laugh. I was going to, but I was so scared so I forgot. So when I told her, she laughed immediately, which made me want to cry because it felt so real. She told me she isn't that important to be

Possible trigger:

executed

and not to worry about it and to think of the things around me. I couldn't. It was too real. She asked me what to do, but I had no idea. I honestly am unsure what others should do. Maybe I should print out a list for emergencies. It was so terrible. I don't know what to do. After this, I had to ask her if she was okay and if she had a

Possible trigger:

near-death incident

that day. She always said she was fine and not to worry about her and no one did anything to her. I only didn't ask her once because another teacher got mad at me because I needed to take my medication at 9:30, but it was at the end of the concert, and she said that it was inappropriate and I should have waited. She said it in a not so nice way in my opinion. But every other night, I had to ask her. Oh, and the night didn't because I couldn't, I couldn't stop thinking about and worried about my fear of harm coming to her. I asked her immediately the next day, and again, she said she was fine and to worry about it, but I was so scared and stressed because I didn't ask her before bed. This was really bad. I hate OCD.