I struggle with the very same question. I can only say it is the slight hope that things will get better that keeps me going. (Plus I do have two children who would be devastated were I to cease to exist). Things have not always been this bad and it could be that things will not always be this bad. What is the need that is going unfulfilled? Is there any action I can take to meet that need? Even if it fails, taking some action in that direction could have salutary antidepressant effects. The key is to no longer feel helpless and trapped.