There is no one in the world I could tell this to, no one cares about me. I don't even know where to begin to be honest, I am so horribly depressed from being alone I just cry thinking about it. My only friend I had is engaged now and doesn't care about me at all anymore. My phone just sits for days without getting a message and I am so tired of it, I am 21 in college I should be able to go out and have some fun. Instead I sit on my *** at home every night and dwell on how much I hate my life. I've lost interest in everything I used to love. I have a pretty bad *** Jeep I built with all my free time and used to take it out all the time, now it just sits because the thought of taking it out doesn't interest me anymore. I really have no motivation for anything anymore.

I don't even know what I do wrong, because I talk to people and make them laugh. I guess most people would never know I feel like total **** inside. I hide behind a smile all day at work just to make it through the day but deep down I just want to scream. I know when I go home that night I am just going to sit on my room and tell strangers about how much my life sucks.

I am so in love with my friend, she just makes me so damn happy being around her, but she doesn't like me. I try to pursue other girls but they just break my heart, this one recently was talking to me and everything looked great when all of a sudden she has a boyfriend and was playing me the whole time.

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just need to tell someone. Damn, I really just need a quality person in my life who can make me feel like life is worth living in this lonely *** place we call earth. It just frustrates me how there are millions of people around yet not a single one can be there for me. I don't do so well with being alone anymore, It's just been to many years of it. To supplement this I've tried working a ton and buying all kinds of cool stuff but these things just bring merely temporary excitement. I'm at the point I would trade all the luxuries I have for a person I can experience life with. I want to do some fun, crazy stuff so when I look back on my life there is less regret and I can think about how great it was.

I tried really hard to write how I feel and I feel like I don't even know what to say, yet I have these thoughts consuming my head 24/7. I hope it makes sense because I feel like I just rambled a lot..