I understand that feeling & my last time anorexia took over in 2004, my mother was dying of cancer, my new foal had injured her leg & the home care person who had manipulated her way into caring for my mom, I caught her abusing my mom. It was 6 months of hell I was in the middle of & was married to a useless husband who had no idea about emotional support or how to communicate. I ended up in the medical hospital the night my mom died. The good thing was I was surrounded by care & organized my moms funeral from the hospital though I almost missed it though it was 2 weeks later because of weather issues, because I got worse not better & they were determined I needed IV nutrition immediately or I would not live either. The hospital staff psychiatrist threatened a hold, my GP looked the other way with my AMA as long as I promised to come back after the funeral. Yes, I needed their support because I had no friends or support network like I have now after totally walking (running away/escaping) the horrible 33 year marriage I had been in. I had nothing tying me there any longer & moved 2100 miles away where I didn't know anyone & have never been more happy or cared about in my life. Living alone with a huge amount of care my farm requires, I eat enough to stay healthy. Have only been sick 2 times in my 9 years here & weight is now a healthy stable. When we have natural care & support in our life there is no need for searching for it through unhealthy behavior. Lol I never thought I would get to this point....but it is possible.