Thank you everyone for the input - much appreciated. Eclogite your words have struck a chord, on one level I know you are absolutely right. On another I would justify my actions (and using that language tells me something, doesn't it?) by responding that he and I are not merely T/client, we are also colleagues and (his words) "friends on the street" - if we bumped into each other on the street, we'd go for coffee together. So am reexamining my motives here - and I need to think again in terms of your words, Eclogite - I am thinking too much about T and his life.....