this part stands out to me in the report from the psychologist.. i guess its the cognitive impairment..?
Quote:
his consistency related long term retrieval was impaired (40/144 correct) especially when compaired to his normal range long term storage (98/144)
clinically significant and suggestive of a high level cognitive organiziation problem and or high level attention concern..
visual organization and memory were impaired on the rey complex figure test. this is in contrast to his normal range auditory memory as noted above.
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there are couple other things.. scores that didnt add up or match with the other tests scores the way they should have.. i guess..
Quote:
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simple timed visual motor sequencing (trailmaking test part a) was within below average range with T score of 44. patients performance on similar, but more complex task of timed visual motor sequencing (part B) was within the below average range with a T score of 41. Patient made two sequencing errors on this latter test. taken together this pattern of performance is not indicative of a patient who is at increased risck for day to day problems with frontal lobe mediated executive functioning abilities
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the report is probably 5-6 pages or so... the information is condensed though..
at the end where his reccomendations and impressions is
Quote:
from the actual neurocognitive profile, there is support for a high functioning adhd- predomently innatentive type problem. he is also showing problems with high level cognitive organization abilities. his performance across all other neurocognitive domains assessed were normal. emotionally, there is support for severe anxiety and depression along with prominent somatization and general ptsd related issues. he is showing some avoidant personality traits as well.
thankfully his neurocognitive profile is fairly benign, except for mild adhd type issues (inattentive) auditory memory is normal. i am more concerned about the severity of anxiety and depression and physical manifestations of same then i am concerned about the adhd issue. if mood issus improve, he is much more able to function independently, but the mood issues at this point are debilitating him. i suggest a psychiatric review of his medication management for anxiety and depression along with active participation in intensive psychotherapy. consider an appropriate (perhaps non-stimulant) medication for attention if this is not medically contraindicated. while some symptom exaggeration is present, i do not see him as malingering. these mood issues are severe. basline now established. follow up prn. clinical correlation is, of course, indicated. i will discuss these findings with the patient when he follows up with me in the near future. follow up prn.
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i didnt even think to discuss dissociation or these severe memory difficulties i face...
i just forgot.. but i forget everything so its to be expected i guess..
during the testing i tried really hard to be present and focus... i often can be more grounded while in an appointment than when i am outside... seems like when i get in front of a doctor alot of things buck up and stand in attention as to not cause any distress... to make the transition through the appointment smooth so i can get in and out easy... i dunno if thats why maybe he suspected some exaggeration or if my reports were just so severe that he couldnt believe that it could be so bad, i dunno..
i guess it was atleast worth it to have another real doctor agree to say that im not bipolar... but 1600$ is expensive just to have that... i hope the report can give insights to some future provider... because i dont really understand most of it or the significance of any of it... besides the fact that he said i have adhd and i kept trying to tell the community clinic people that i was seeing that i dont have bipolar and i think its severe mdd, anxiety, with adhd presenting itself looking like some form of bipolar symptoms.. but they apparently just laughed at me and gawked at my ability to " recite" such neurological conditions... thinking im just some malingering fool that doesnt know what he is talking about or cant understand feelings... well, they succeeded in confusing the hell out of me and making me doubt a great deal about myself... now i am much worse... and without treatment... and im confused.. and all i ever really wanted was to know what is going on with me... so i could try to help myself throughout the days.. weeks... and maybe have a medication to take the edge off... but all these years of trying have been futile.. just maybe the next doctor will see my trials and tribulations and my perseveration despite the failiures and blablabla... and give me some credibility and listen to what i have to say... because i dont say much, ever... and i need to say it to someone who will be serious with me and listen...
all i want is to be able to recover from this dismal position i am in... because i feel like my life is over at this point... there is no good left inside of me, it has all been perverted with dark... pain...
i know i probably am insane... but i would just like to be happy and insane...