I have felt "wound up" since last night. I took a 45 minute shower then did some housework at almost midnight then couldn't sleep, my husband worked 3rd shift so it was the kids and me but they were sleeping soundly.

I haven't eaten today and hardly ate yesterday. On top of that, I had 3 cups of coffee, one of which was Starbucks. I drank the entire Venti iced white chocolate mocha while in my therapy session. My therapist said "I guess that caffeine has kicked in, huh?." I couldn't sit still, I kept thinking I needed to be up walking and I told her that. She said I seemed hyper. I asked her if she thought I was safe to drive telling her I had driven to her office with Janis Joplin BLARING and perhaps inattentive. She suggested maybe I take a walk around the office before I drive. I didn't listen. But, I did breathe deeply, turn down the music and paid my best attention to the road and other drivers.

Anyway, the entire session I felt wired. I had (have) warm butterflies in my stomach. I feel like they are fluttering and daring little balls of energy. I feel like I couldn't stop talking and that I couldn't calm down. I told her I felt idiotic.

After I left (about 10 minutes after), I called and left her a voice message about my puzzling affect and my inability to calm myself. I told her she didn't need to call me back but that I just wanted her to know my embarrassment and wanted to apologize.

Now I feel embarrassed about the phone call and I want to call her to explain that, ha!

When I got home, I took my meds. Within a half an hour I felt significantly calmer and even lethargic. I hate how all this **** messes with my mind, causes it to race, causes me to look and act sometimes like a teenager. I want to crawl in a hole on one hand and I want to fly on the other.