Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul
this part stands out to me in the report from the psychologist.. i guess its the cognitive impairment..?
there are couple other things.. scores that didnt add up or match with the other tests scores the way they should have.. i guess..
the report is probably 5-6 pages or so... the information is condensed though..
at the end where his reccomendations and impressions is
i didnt even think to discuss dissociation or these severe memory difficulties i face...
i just forgot.. but i forget everything so its to be expected i guess..
during the testing i tried really hard to be present and focus... i often can be more grounded while in an appointment than when i am outside... seems like when i get in front of a doctor alot of things buck up and stand in attention as to not cause any distress... to make the transition through the appointment smooth so i can get in and out easy... i dunno if thats why maybe he suspected some exaggeration or if my reports were just so severe that he couldnt believe that it could be so bad, i dunno..
i guess it was atleast worth it to have another real doctor agree to say that im not bipolar... but 1600$ is expensive just to have that... i hope the report can give insights to some future provider... because i dont really understand most of it or the significance of any of it... besides the fact that he said i have adhd and i kept trying to tell the community clinic people that i was seeing that i dont have bipolar and i think its severe mdd, anxiety, with adhd presenting itself looking like some form of bipolar symptoms.. but they apparently just laughed at me and gawked at my ability to " recite" such neurological conditions... thinking im just some malingering fool that doesnt know what he is talking about or cant understand feelings... well, they succeeded in confusing the hell out of me and making me doubt a great deal about myself... now i am much worse... and without treatment... and im confused.. and all i ever really wanted was to know what is going on with me... so i could try to help myself throughout the days.. weeks... and maybe have a medication to take the edge off... but all these years of trying have been futile.. just maybe the next doctor will see my trials and tribulations and my perseveration despite the failiures and blablabla... and give me some credibility and listen to what i have to say... because i dont say much, ever... and i need to say it to someone who will be serious with me and listen...
all i want is to be able to recover from this dismal position i am in... because i feel like my life is over at this point... there is no good left inside of me, it has all been perverted with dark... pain...
i know i probably am insane... but i would just like to be happy and insane...
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yea looks like they have diagnosed you with ADHD (which can in some people include what may seem like dissociative symptoms) I know many people who thought they had DID, OSDD and other dissociative disorders but upon diagnostic evaluations it turned out that they had a different disorder or disease.
even though you did not discuss dissociation and dissociative symptoms mental health treatment providers here in america now automatically have to watch , observe the person being tested. there new tests for all mental disorders are set up in such a way to illicit all kinds of reactions, and symptoms, that are now standard in diagnostic evaluations, of the new and standard oral testing is for dissociation, depression and other mental disorders when the client doesnt realize they are being tested for a specific mental disorder. these oral diagnostic questions are not online and are new. they are not the typical do you lose time do you feel spaced out kind of questions that are readily available through online versions of the MMPI,DES and others. these oral standard testing process is set up in such a way that even if you expect it and research it you will not recognize the questions when a treatment provider is asking you them.
my point....even though you did not bring it up or discuss dissociation problems you most likely were tested on all the dissociative disorders too, just didnt recognize that this or that question in the new test series was for that.
since your treatment provider has diagnosed you with ADHD you can relax now. I can tell you what you have been relating to in your research you have been posting is part of many different mental disorders including ADHD.