I so relate to you. Yesterday I went to the studio and painted three 30x40 canvasses in one session. I was hopped up. The colors flowed and swirled. I met new people, had fascinating conversations. Then my whole being zigzagged redder and hotter. I had the music on high, I drove fast, smoked a bunch if cigs, bought a Les Paul guitar, bought art supplies in the middle of painting bc i was painting all the canvases up so fast, did some incredible art though. Got home, couldn't harness the energetic schizoplanes. Felt crazy. Called a friend. She came over, was headed to an NA meeting but I wasn't able to maintain myself. Completely screwed in the head. Had to stay home and miss it. Couldn't sit still. Couldn't just be. Felt like I was in a zillion pieces. This is life. So scared about today and whether I would crash. Prayed for stability and got it today. I drink half decalf. Coffee doesn't affect me too much. Hell, I had to give up liquor and pills and I've cut out processed sugar. I can have a cup of coffee or three!