Old T - Thank you so much for emailing me telling me that you got back OK and that we can talk about what I wanted to on Tuesday when we meet. The time you have is an hour later than the time I have. Not sure whether to query it or whether I should just wait in the car park an hour early and see what happens. Might give you another email later in the week.

Middle T - thanks for suggesting I don't make another appointment. Thanks for being patient too but I just can't see how we can work together when I feel like you are a million miles away even after discussing it. Your response to my 'why' question surprised me too. I get that as a T you are going to get some self satisfaction from caring but I honestly thought you might have given some reasons that involved the client such as 'to see you happier', 'because you deserve better', 'because you are a good person'. I don't know. But I think I have decided I could just as easily check £50 in the bin and sit in my own head in the comfort of my own home.

New T - looking forward to Thursday. Wrote you an email today but I don't think I will send it. Waiting for you to talk to me about out of session contact as we agreed we would. I wonder what your thoughts have been. I hope I can at least tell you about last Monday and why I really think it would help me to have someone I can reach out to. Never have before but have been learning to with old T and want to continue that work. I want to tell you about how I struggle to interact and understand people when they are in front of me. Why I think I can I do it at work but nowhere else. How I feel like an alien on this planet. I hope you can help me to learn about myself and about feelings. I wonder if we will be in your 'shed' this week or if it is still being done. I am intrigued to see it. I might even ask you if I can see it if it isn't done yet. I liked what you said about the fact that you wanted to work with my heart. I hope my heart wants to work with you too.