Hi there,

I am new to this forum. Signed up because I seem to have such a hard time making friends. Anytime I seem to make a friend I ruin it by my constant anxiety and ocd. Which in return just makes me more depressed. I stated making new friends recently and in the lady several months but I have already ruined them by my ocd. I want to change this part of me. I am done doing this to myself. And I am so depressed right now and feel so alone. And like no one likes me and cares about me and this feeling sucks. On top of that, it's normally hard to find friends who have things in common with me as I am vegan for animals. Sigh.
But the one friend I did make who lives near me actually, I ruined that by ocd. :'(

I feel like I am so stupid and unlikable. But I guess I just need to be strong and take each day at a time and try and overcome these things and not let them ruin friendships anymore.

You know how you usually have that one friend who wants to spend time with you and they always make effort and initiate contact and you are their best friend and they are yours too? That's what I want and I feel like that will never ever happen. Or at least just a person who initiates contact a lot and enjoys hanging out with you and talks to you all the time. Cause I am always the one doing the initiating it seems. Maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe I don't see how much of a mess I really am. I have such social anxiety around people and I mess up a lot when I talk. Idk my relative told me they think I have aspergers.... 0_0 whether it's true or not, I don't know. But I feel like I am so unlikable and it is so depressing. I have had major depression for years. And I've seen doctor's and therapists before. Ughhhh.

Why am I so unlikable to people? What can I do to make myself become the person that people want to be around?

Sorry for the post. I am not trying to seek any kind of attention. This is all how I feel and I joined here hoping to meet people who have issues like me or people who understand and are supportive.