1. Find out the name of this Realtor. Google "their name (Joe Smith), Realtor, your state" and see if stuff comes up that looks like he is a legit Realtor. Your state has a .gov website that shows "Verify a licensee" and you can see if they have a valid, Active real estate license.

You can at least do that without your husband knowing you did it.

As far as your being left out of your finances by him, you need to deal with that. He might not want to tell you because he himself doesn't really understand what's going on and he doesn't want to look stupid. After all, he got you into this financial mess.

You are equally responsible for all the marital debts, for the most part.

If this Realtor is working with you in exchange for a future listing, it means that you are going to have to get out of the house eventually, and he plans to get the listing.

That other post, where that guy told you he used to work with foreclosures, he explained the process of how you have to get out of the house.