I didn't know whether to post in depression or anxiety, because I've been alternating between them all day. I feel like the world's biggest loser. Shouldn't I be more in control than this?

I had a perfectly fine day. Slept in. Played on the puter. Wrote a student a recommendation. Went for a walk, it was sunny and over 60 and I had a nice walk by Lake Michigan, and then came home and sat on the steps by the side door for 10-15 minutes, soaking up Vitamin D. Worked on some cross-stitch Christmas ornaments. Watched the Badgers slaughter Minnesota. All in all, a lovely day. SO WHY AM I SO FRICKING DEPRESSED?!

Worse, as I said, it's alternating with the anxiety. Just sitting here a couple times today, for no good reason, I had the first rumblings of a panic attack. I don't get it. I'm home. Nothing weird is happening here, and I haven't had one thought about work. And yet, I feel like I have the butterflies times a million, and I can't relax, and it pisses me off to feel like crap when I have no valid reason for doing so. And I hate the switching back and forth. I can be both really anxious and really depressed in the course of the same hour.

Good thing I see my pdoc Monday, hey?

Sorry for whining. I don't know what I expect anybody to do about it when I can't fix it myself. Maybe you could tell me how you handle these illnesses without beating yourself up for having them?

Candy