Hello Jpander: I see this is your first post here on PC... so... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! May you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Realistically, I don't know what's going on with your wife. Perhaps she's just unable to commit to a course of action... either reconciliation or divorce. I noted that you said the two of you went to one counseling session. From my perspective, little of any lasting value can be anticipated from one session. I'm not a big fan of counseling or therapy. But if it is going to work, much more than one session is necessary. It is an ongoing commitment over a period of time.

Of course, at this point, your wife may or may not be interested in revisiting this option. And she may or may not be able to come to a decision with regard to what she wants to do. If that is the case, then at some point you may simply have to make a unilateral decision based on what you want for yourself. As healingme4me wrote: is this the style of relationship you want going into your future? I wish you well...