Dear uni therapist and private therapist,

I feel so alone at the moment, like no one cares about me, but then I also feel like I have no right to be sad about it because of course no one cares about me. It's been nearly two weeks since I've heard from my parents. My friends don't have time for me anymore. I think about talking to my sisters sometimes, but I just find it so hard to connect with them. I don't know how to talk to either of you about this, because private therapist, you'll probably feel sorry for me which I don't want, and uni therapist, you'll be frustrated, which I can't handle right now. You both mean well, I know that, but I'm just tired and sad right now, and I haven't been sleeping properly for weeks, and the mental health team aren't giving me an appointment because I'm obviously unimportant.

I don't want to say any of this because I can hear how pathetic it sounds. I don't want to be so pitiful. But I can't do anything. I have to just avoid life, because at least if I avoid life I don't get so depressed that all I want is to die. I'm just a failure. That's all I am. And it's never going to change.