So my car was toed and I can't get it back (no $, no help). So I'm getting $25 for the keys. Luckily my FIL is letting us barrow his van. I chewed a klotapin to calm down. Then planted two tomato plants and an orange tree. Then took a nap.

I'm thinking my meds are making me depressed or apathetic. I just don't want to do anything. I mean I'm content just staring into space for hours. I'm not even interested in drinking. I had 2 chicken nuggets, corn and icecream for dinner and that's only because my husband made it and put it in front of me.

I've completely lost the will to teach my classes. I'm crying every Sunday and contemplating hurting myself just not to go. I'd rather be in the hospital then teach. Yeah that's how bad it is. I don't have control over them and I never will. I'm just done.

The pharmacy gave me the wrong lamictal and then yelled at me about it. Tomorrow is family pictures and I want to skip it. I want to abuse my sleep meds and be done.