She took full responsibility for it. I felt really stupid for having such an extreme reaction to it, but it was particularly hard for me because I had been struggling with my love for her for months and I was really scared of those feelings. So when the words came from her, it was just overwhelming. It took me a couple of weeks to process it, because at first I tried to convince myself that she hadn't actually said that, but once I realised that yes, she definitely did say it, I broke down and became seriously depressed.

She said it was something that should have been negotiated, and that she had been a bit worried after I'd left the session because she realised that she'd just let it slip out in what turned out to be a very emotional moment. She thought I might have an emotional reaction to it. I have never seen her get defensive about anything, and she always tells me that she is strong enough to hold all of my feelings while I'm working through them. I really trust her and we have a great relationship, even if I'm still trying to accept those scary feelings of love and attachment. She gets me, and continues to be loving and compassionate and helpful. She's been through several breakdowns with me, and has carried me through them. So far I've only been able to tell her I love her in emails, the idea of saying it out loud absolutely terrifies me (which is sort of stupid), but at least she knows. I mean, she probably knew anyway, lol.

I believe it was actually good for me to go through this whole thing, because we've had some really healing sessions as a result of it. I mean, I have discovered that I'm scared of love - that's useful, right?