I don't think about my past much because I have regrets. And even though I can see the connection between these regrets and what happened, I'm scared of admitting that it caused so much. I haven't really ever done anything with trauma work outside of the classroom, so I forget that there is a very physical aspect to it. I have felt so sick, physically sick, and upset since Monday, but I'm having a hard time connecting it to what t and I talked about because it's just a physical feeling. I think my lack of experience is making me look too strictly at what textbooks say happens with trauma, and I'm not accepting that there are differences.

I think that's what I meant. I keep getting mixed up about what I've written here versus in my journal.

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