I'm diagnosed with severe depression and on medication for it. It helps very well, but I still get episodes at least once or twice a month, lasting anywhere from a few days to a good week or so. But see my brain doesn't have a lot of emotional permanence. It's actually REALLY HARD for me to recall when my last episode even WAS, and the sentence preceding this was more of an estimate than a hard fact. And so when I'm feeling better, like I am now, I think back and I wonder....

Was it even that bad?? What am I even on medication for?

I've expressed this to my T, who advised me to write down how I'm feeling during an episode so I can have concrete evidence that my feelings are real, but all that does is leave a paper trail of me being whiny. When I look back on this during lighter days I just end up feeling silly. I think, "Man I really couldn't handle life during that day." and the creeping suspicion has come upon me that I'm just in some way over sensitive to life???? And I'm not really depressed I'm just unable to handle things and lazy and don't want to face reality and like attention from people, and so sometimes I act out and then go back to being "presentable".

I don't know.