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I can feel it. Depression is just below the surface. It tries to overcome me a different times during the day. And I do not want this to happen.

I have not felt depression for many months. I was suicidal for a few months....and even made a serious, serious attempt......but I wasn't depressed during that time. Seems odd, but depression really wasn't a part of it.....hopelessness was the cause.

I am on 45mg Remeron, 60mg Inderal LA BID, 100mg Seroquel, and 800mg gabapentin TID as needed.

But even with these meds, I'm starting to feel the spectre of depression. And it makes me want to cry.....because I've been stable now for about 2 weeks!!! It has been wonderful. By the grace of God, I overcame the suicidal mindset. I was free! I no longer felt as if I had no control. I felt strong and able to slowly pursue goals.

But now....this horrible awareness of depression trying to break through that blanket that protects me. I'm not sure what to do. I do not want it to overcome me....because it may reawaken the suicidal mindset. And all I want is to be well!

Any suggestions as to how to pay no notice to the depression? I don't want it to break through. How would I stop that from happening? I don't want to lose my new-found strength.

Thank you.

Sandy