I fear the future.

I feel stuck at a crossroads, though in truth it feels more like a cliff edge most of the time.

I feel a failure.

I feel I'm walking a tightrope everyday - always afraid that today will be the day I fall off.

I don't feel loved. I crave just to be held.

I feel sad.

I feel all of these things all at once. It can bring me to tears without warning. So I shut them out. I can't cope with the confusion so I stop acknowledging them. But then I wonder whether by doing that I'm making it worse because then I don't show love, not to those who I should be - but that's because they don't show me any. The circle keeps going. I am lost.