I knew it was going to wear me off...
I was going from one disappointment to another, yet still trying to find opportunities to practice my passion (photography) and meeting more persons.
My job is becoming more and more taxing, because we need to make more money, and it requies an amount of enthusiasm I don't have.
I was worried, I knew I couldn't stand it. And in fact, in the last 2 days simple disappointment has shifted to cosmic sense of death. It is HIM (or HER), I know it all too well. Know I hope it will be brief, while i nevertheless keep trying to reach out to meeting people and finding motivation in job.

But it is hard, oh dammit...