t,

i ate food . i felt bad........ i threw it up.

now i feel worse!!!!!

why am i so obsessed with destroying myself and everything ive worked for???

sabotageeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

oh you feel good? here lets think about things that make u feel bad. lets do things that put you in bad situations. lets take drugs and restrict eating and purge. you need to go back to square one. cuz thats where you belong.

sometimes i think, wow!!! i never thought i would stay in school this long, make good grades, have a job for over 2 years and even be PROMOTED!!!!

then its like this THING is like NOPE you cant have any of that. and heres why:

you killed your dad
you were so bad your mom had to send you away to be abused.
you come back and seduce some man thats just trying to help you and ruin his life and career and family

and im just like... oh.... oh yeah.... ok

*self destruct*

...me