Hello

I just want to let all of you know how therapeutic your forum has been for me. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and thoughts.

I was in therapy for a long time as a young adult because of the sexual abuse I experienced as a child. By the time I was in my late twenties, I had gained the necessary tools to lead a "normal life" (Married, children, job, home, dog...) I really had myself convinced that I had conquered this THING.

I am at a time in my life where I should be able to enjoy myself. Our kids are grown, I earn a decent living - there is no reason not to be happy. Suddenly however, all these old feelings are creeping back -WHY?

Why can't I just let this go? I struggle with myself over my incompetence of overcoming my destructive thoughts. I no longer blame my abuser, that time has passed. Now I just blame myself for not being able to let this go. This little tape plays in my head over and over again "I hate myself, I hate myself.

I am scared that I will destroy the life I worked so hard for. My husband and my children do not deserve this.