Hi EmpathyFlower. I am going through some of the same stuff (as, you will find, are many of us here... We understand). The isolation (pushing people away) is one of the hardest symptoms I find to deal with.

Help is available I hope you are able to seek treatment with a therapist and possibly a psychiatrist. People have may varying opinions and experiences so it will depend on your needs. Personally I like therapy first with an open mind toward medications which I believe are necessary if the cause is truly chemical (but then I still believe therapy is "the cure" but the medication allows the therapy to work, overcoming the roadblock) This is just my opinion and others will have different experiences. The point is that help is available and will likely be more productive than you trying to "switch it off" if you've already discovered that that isn't working.

Therapy can help you deal with the feelings by learning and practicing coping skills, reprogram some of the feelings by learning about their root cause. There are different kinds of therapy taking different tactics (the program I am in now focuses around DBT and I am finding it helpful).

Good luck and please continue to post and read here for suggestions and understanding. The latter is sometimes lacking and frustrating among our friends and family so being in this environment of peers can be helpful.