I've been in T about 18 months now. My T is a good bloke, but I really can't stand the process. The whole thing just makes my skin crawl, and I'm really disliking the sessions.

For various reasons, if I stopped seeing this T I would have to stop treatment altogether.

My T is person centred and obsessed with Rogers. This is turning in to a real issue for me, because I want to talk about memories, and I want a treatment plan, and I want practical tips on getting integrated. I am 100% focused on integration.

Decades ago I taught myself to cut off my feelings to a large extent, and even cut off my sense of smell. I'm ok with this, I don't want that to change. I have zero interest in rediscovering emotions, I have zero interest in reconnecting with people and the outside world. I just want to think like a singleton, that's all. But the work I do with my T ignores everything I want- all he's interested in is creating emotions in me I don't want, or need, and then he fails to offer any support or comfort in the process. I would much much prefer a CBT approach.

So - I was wondering, for those of you who have had successful therapy- what modality did your T's follow? Do you think it's possible to become integrated via CBT, or any other less emotionally focused, more intelligence based, more memory based therapy? If not, can you explain WHY it's important I can smell and feel when I have no interest in either. My T says feelings are vital, but never puts it in context of why it's important for me, my therapy, and my integration. (But then again, he hasn't even got the balls to openly acknowledge I'm not integrated, so setting integration as a goal hasn't happened. He refuses to acknowledge all of me, even when I switch in front of him. That's feels so disrespectful- but I guess that's a whole other rant!)