((((((((wisewoman)))))))))

You are a good mother. You care about your children and do what you can to help them, and you don't minimize their trauma. Not many parents are like you. I was bullied, and my mother knew about it. I was also molested, and someone tried to tell my mother about it, but I'm not sure she understood (due to a language barrier). I never could talk to her. When I asked, she was always too busy, or she would bring a sibling along too (I usually asked for a private audience when she was driving me somwhere, but she couldn't ever seem to grant that request). When I did indicate in some way that I needed help, she denied it. She insisted that I didn't know what I was talking about, or was wrong. Now I understand that she was acting to protect herself, even if she might have believed she was protecting me. Still, I can't talk to her about any of my real issues, and she has no idea how it has affected me.

You aren't like that. You listen to your children, and you encourage them to get help. You don't deny it to them or tell them that it's all in their heads or that they are wrong. You support them and you are available to them.

You couldn't control the things that happened to your children. This world is not a perfect place, and bad things happen to good people. A parent's job is not to try to make the world perfect, but to prepare your children to deal with life's obstacles the best they can, and to give them the help and the love that you can offer. You do all of those things. You are a good mother.

Love,
Rapunzel