Quote:
Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow
This is the opposite of how I see this.
I do not choose to be ill. I fight very hard to be wel but often don't succeed.
I cannot distance myself from my illness but in controlling it I can succeed. If I distanced myself from it my self-care would cause me to fail at everything I haven't already failed at.
There is no way that doing anything but fighting against the bipolar is going to give me direction or stability.
Bipolar is not my friend nor is it something to seek out and enhance in any way.
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I agree with this. To fight to be stable is not self-loathing over bipolar, it's just saying feeling good when manic is not the same as feeling good when stable. When I am manic, it's easy for me to convince myself that my manic way of being is more 'authentic' but I don't feel that way the rest of the time and am usually frustrated with things I did when manic. So I think the solution is to avoid mania where possible because it makes it too hard to have to handle the fallout from decisions made in another state of mind.