Thanks, confused4ever.

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confused4ever said:
you have learned that it is ok to be mad, you won't lose everyone

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Yes, I have started to learn that, but am still in pre-school! I feel like just that one time in therapy has made a huge difference for me, like a lightbulb went off. Sure, I had read stuff like that before, but it is not the same as experiencing it.

You know, even though I had read many times here on PC that people go to their sessions and get angry at their therapists, I had never done it, and never wanted to do it, not been able to see any value, and thought I would have to fake it if I did it because I just loved my T so much--why would I ever be angry at him? I confess, I thought the people who wrote about being mad at their therapists were so different from me, like from different planets. And I thought my T would not know what to do with anger from a client. It would be outside of our realm. Why would sunny, his client, get mad at him? How weird. If I'd been asked to predict how he would have reacted, I would have said "puzzlement," and like maybe "this is inappropriate." So it amazes me that all along he was on the same therapeutic page that the posters here (who've gotten angry at their Ts) have been on, that he thinks getting mad at your therapist has value, that he knows all this Winnicott stuff, that he knows how to react to and handle client anger, that he thinks the anger I express toward him will help me in my other relationships, etc. I know he is a therapist, but it surprised me he knew all this stuff! (Duh.) I wonder why therapy doesn't begin with the therapist telling the new client "the rules," so to speak. Like if my therapist had said at the outset, "you can get angry at me, it will be therapeutic", maybe I would have done it sooner, or known it was OK. It never occurred to me it was OK. I am so dense sometimes.