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Basically, much or all of what you see as an illness may in itself be the best possible and healthy, behaviour, given an underlying, genetic and/or biochemical, difference, unless you fear it or you don't believe in it, not believing you are right and they are wrong in some (essential) ways (assuming, as I do, that every delusion has quite some (basic) truth to it).
You could argue that what underlies your manic-depressive behaviour is an illness, a mostly transient, recurring, partial blindness of sorts, but I don't like to see it that way.
I have ginger hair, but I don't see it as an illness because it's quite rare.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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