I am so good at isolating and yet am so lonely. I'm trying to figure out how to reach out to friends that I've pushed away so many times. When I am in pain, my instinct is to withdraw into myself so that I don't hurt people I love. It is so deeply ingrained in me, I don't know how to reach out anymore. After support group on Monday, I was really hurting and admitted that to the group. We did our usual group hug, but I was hurt because no one approached me to offer any kind of support. I have concluded that I tend to wear my pain like an invisible shield. No one dares to approach me because they mistake my pain for haughtiness or anger. It only serves to deepen the pain, the longing for someone to hug me to ease the pain even a little. I feel so alone today.