Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishDave
Having dealt with terminal Cancer in the family in very difficult circumstances, and then living through the same Cancer myself with intensive treatments throughout 2013 I can tell you this b#*%h of a disease is a drain on the whole family. I fully understand what you are going through, dealing with it while battling Depression.
You need to take care of your own Mental Health as a priority so you can continue to actively support your family. Utilise your friend, and especially this Forum as much as possible - it is only for a set period while things settle and a routine is established. I am sure you have already explained your additional need to your friend and he will continue to be there for you.
Try not to project possibilities of where this disease may lead, now or in the future. I survived the same Cancer which took my father just 20 years before - and my Chemo had to be modified due to my heart disease. Great strides are being made in Cancer treatment and survival rates.
Do look on this act of kindness on your part as a challenge you enter into wholeheartedly. Try to make this increased family time worthwhile. Come here to share any negativity you feel.
Dave.
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I'm glad to hear that you survived this, both for yourself and to give me hope. My grandmother is so perpetually worked up over, everything, really. She's certain her remaining days will be painful and are short. She's going to fight but believes she's fighting a losing battle. I'm scared as to what her fear could be doing to her body.
The benefits she's getting convince her people are being nice to her because she may as well already be dead. The doctor said her situation is "good," but that "excellent" isn't possible with this form of cancer, so she's convinced he's at least almost given up on her too. Her chemo is in-patient and requires a hospital stay each time and she's convinced that means her cancer must be a really hopeless one. The list goes on in a similar fashion.
I tell her that people are giving her stuff because she's going through something scary and painful, not because she's a dead woman. I tell her the doctor believes she has a chance or he wouldn't bother putting her through chemo, like they didn't with my grandfather on my other side, who was significantly older. I tell her lymphoma requires this kind of chemo but that doesn't mean it's a death sentence. Once again, if it were truly a death sentence, doctors wouldn't bother putting people through it.
Her intellect agrees with me but her emotions can't stop. I feel like there's nothing else I can do but listen to her talk and tell her that I'm sorry. She hasn't slept in days. She's trying to, even taking pills that should be knocking her out, but she can't fall asleep.