Quote:
Originally Posted by cheshiregrins
Has anyone with DID ever experienced this or know a way to handle it?
I feel like I've only been in this world for the past year on and off, due to a combination of therapy and anti-psychotics, which have made me dissociate less. That's great and all in terms of recovery, but I find that when I'm in this world now (not dissociated), after almost 30 years of living in a dissociated state, I get WAY too overstimulated. I feel like before I was just watching life on TV and now I'm actually watching real people and am a part of it the real world. Again, I know it's a good thing in theory, but it's making me feel crazy!  It varies, but I often only last like 20 minutes at the mall. I can't make plans with anyone because I don't know how long I'll last out in the world. I usually just stay at home, other than work. Work is suffering lately because I work in a public library with LOUD kids. I get super irritable because I can't handle the noise. I've just been drugging myself with Klonopin to the point where I'm getting addicted to it and probably shouldn't be driving to work on the drug, but it's the only thing that turns down the volume of the world. Anyone have any insights? |
this is how I felt each time an alter integrated\merged\became one whole person with me (in other words the transition process from being DID to no longer having DID)
it was at this point where my treatment provider suggested my coming to this site in hopes of finding others at this point of healing too.
Unfortunately when I first came here there was no one going through this part of the integration process. But I stuck it out here and slowly over the years have met others who's alters have merged/became one whole person again.
this part of healing is hard for a dissociative. its unknown territory from them, to put it in another context that other can understand its like smoking all your life then one day finding out you can never have another smoke ever. going from whats normal for the person with DID to what feels strange,scary, abnormal.
My point I fully understand what you are going through. Things that helped me was
Having a mental health treatment provider. I cant count how many times I have called my treatment providers in a panic because I heard or felt things I have never felt before, or have felt so many things at one time that I was getting overwhelmed.
I learned how to do breathing exercises and grounding exercises. I used these to help slow down my thoughts and feelings.
I kept a journal of all the things that caused me to feel and what I was feeling. this way I developed a list that I could use to better understand what feelings were and how they related to me and my life and learned how to make plans in such a way that encountering these extreme triggers would allow me to still feel but not get over whelmed by what I was feeling.
Darkness and meditation became my friends. sometimes when I would be getting hit with so many feelings, I would find a quiet darker location and take a moment to just be. Sometimes holding a favorite blanket, object.
I would also turn to my wife. I dont know how many times I have looked at her and said hold me and she would for as long as I needed her to.
I would also go out in nature for a walk or rowing my canoe around the lake, physical activity for me helps to calm and ground.
over time you will discover what works for you when you are going through this new and strange territory called integration of alters merging together with you to become one whole person again, if this is what it is for you.