here in my location we have two different terms that frequently get confused for the other...

Disassociation....(letter a between 2 s's) is purposely stopping something....I disassociate from my job when I am off duty (I take the phone off the hook and do not answer any work related issues during my time off), I disassociate from a sports event (I quit going to sports events that do not fit my desires and needs), I disassociate from feeling angry if someone says something I dont like (I remind myself that what they are saying is about them not me and I do not need to feel angry, time to move on past that feeling).

Dissociation...(no a between the two s's) in my location is the unconscious\uncontrollable reaction to a negative or positive trigger. I dissociate when something makes me feel stressed out meaning I start feeling spaced out, numb and disconnected when I get stressed out.I cant control when and where I dissociate, it just happens but I can control making the dissociation stop by using all my treatment options like ground and breathing to get back to feeling not dissociated (not numb, not spaced out, not disconnected)

the brain is an amazing thing, whether we notice it or not its function is to take in information from all our senses, interpret that information and cause us to react appropriately, some people learn how to ....ignore/disassociate (with the a between the two s's) from their feelings but the brain is still doing its function.

if it wasnt well then you wouldnt be here posting. (the clinical term for when the brain does not take in information from our senses, interprets it is called being in a coma \vegetative state in a hospital or brain dead where hospitals ask closes relatives if they want to remove all life equipment keeping the body functioning and if the patient is an organ donor)

no one that I know has ever died or permanently on purpose stopped their feelings (disassociation with the a between the s's) the brain wins out restarting a persons connection to their feelings every time, in time just because its the way it normally functions.

my suggestion is maybe instead of using all your energy on purposely shutting off your feelings and unpleasant things you can work with a treatment provider to find out why you do not want to feel \experience those things and develop a treatment plan so that you will feel better when the brain does its job of taking in information from your senses and interpreting that information,