Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I have personal aversion to people just showing up. I grew up in the city in the culture where it was common just knock on doors without phone calls or warnings. I have plenty of bizarre stories to tell . I also had exes who were just showing up and I am not talking about long term. Dated somebody briefly and left and then he'd be by my door a month later. For all he knew I might be dating someone else already! Etc if one needs me so bad they can mail a letter. Maybe I am bias here due to past experiences but showing up at ex's door with no warning doesn't sit with me well. What if he had a new date over? Or family event? Etcetc.
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I dunno if it's a bias thing or that some of us are just that way. In general I have a problem with people just showing up, let alone an ex just popping in for any reason. If for regular friends I'd rather they not just show up, how much more for someone I'd recently broken up with?
As for the OP, breaking up is hard to do. I won't make any judgments beyond what I'd said about my own personal aversion to people just showing up. That's just my personal view and doesn't necessarily reflect the general concensus.
First it may be hard but keeping him out and blocking him is the best way to start, but fact is, I hate to say it, it takes time, to get over things, even breaking up from a bad relationship is hard to do. I've been there and after 14 yrs of a bad relationship it was still difficult facing life alone. So be forgiving of yourself and know that this is normal, find friends you can confide in and hang with to ease a bit of the pain.
Hope this helps.