((((Patagonia))))

What you're going through with DD is a major challenge...for everyone. Adding in your MH really makes things a lot more tough.

It does concern me that your DD is only 11 and is already throwing out severe self-harm threats to you. Has her T recommended ways to prevent these outbursts from occurring?

I have a 13-yr old DD who has violent outbursts with me, from time to time. I fear the safety of my 11-yr old DD, as well as my own, when the 13-yr old starts. It's 0 to 60 within a minute! Specifically, she screams and throws everything that she can grab a hold of at me. It's scary, really. I have to act cool and supportive, but still stand strong on what started the incident to begin with. A pretty big challenge, especially since she is now bigger than myself and throws things with all of her might at me (within a couple of feet). Meanwhile, my younger daughter cries (in fear) and that's when the 13-yr old tries to aim her anger at the 11-yr old. At that point, I gain more emotional strength, and instantly become more firm to protect her.

The whole situation really sucks. No doubt about it! But, me staying there helps the 13-yr old. It isn't fun or easy, but I know that things would really escalate if we left. I can't allow myself to do that. So, I just try to get her to talk to me about what brought these feelings up. Over and over again until she calms down and talks.

I have a few mental health issues myself, and I often blame myself for everything. It's hard not to. But, who's to blame doesn't matter, right? We just have to try to stay present in the moment and focus on our girls. What are they truly upset about? And how can we either prevent these from occurring in the future or at least prevent them from worsening? I think that talking with our T's about what's happening helps a lot.