Hi Ruari,

I know it's been a little while since you posted this, but I wanted to say I read it, and you do sound very self-aware. You write about yourself in an amazingly clear and detached way. I mean that as a good thing. I can't quite figure out how to say exactly what I'm trying to say, but I hope you understand the point I'm trying to make. I think if you continue to journal, you might be able to disrupt the thinking and become self-aware sooner.

I also understand the difficulty of long distance dating, and how that plays into fears of abandonment on a whole different level than in person relationships. When my husband and I were dating long distance, we had a breakup that is a little similar to what happened to you. He just couldn't handle me at that time. He had his own issues going on, issues he didn't feel he could talk to me about, which was another factor leading to the breakup. We did eventually get back together, but I took the same "if it's meant to be, it'll happen" approach. It took me a little while to get to that point after the breakup, but once I did, I found it very freeing.

Anyways, I don't have much advice or anything, just wanted to let you know I heard you.